To Take A Life
by TolkienGeek1
Summary: Brynn is forced to take her first human life when she is attacked. Dealing with it is a little harder than expected, but thankfully she has an uncle who can help her out. One shot! Brynn is Fili and Kilis little sister.
**Hello everybody! I've been absent for a really long time and I'm sorry about that. I just haven't had much inspiration.**

 **For those of you who don't know, Brynn is Fili and Kilis little sister! I have a bunch of one shots about them, and a full story set on the quest.**

 **This one shot was suggested by and written for lizziecats! I hope I wrote it like you imagine! Thank you again for your vivid idea. Giving me more material helped me grow this idea faster, even though it took me forever to write. Sorry about that! :)**

 **Brynn is 12, Kili is 17, Fili is 18**

Camping with Fili and Kili was one of Brynns favourite things. Being out in the open for days on end, just having fun. No training, no school. Just the three of them doing absolutely nothing of importance.

Today she was sitting by the river, about ten minutes away from their camp. Fili and Kili were still asleep, so she was taking the opportunity to get some peaceful thinking in. Thinking and writing in her journal. Fili and Kili didn't get how she could have fun keeping a journal, but she loved it. She wrote all that happened in her life and others, and all the little stories that happened in their house. Every joke Kili cracked, every wise saying Thorin told her, every interesting moment that happened. Someday she would show them, and they would realize the treasure it was. But not now. There wasn't enough in it yet.

Brynn heard a branch crack behind her, and she lunged forward. Years of living with her brothers told her she was in danger of a prank or scare. But when she whirled around it was not her brothers behind her, but a man. Much taller than she, and much bigger. She glanced to where her sword was. Probably too far to get before he killed her. Her only chance was to disarm him and use his sword - which would probably be too heavy for her to use, so maybe just disarm and use a knife - or call her brothers and hope they got to her on time. She decided on both.

"Fili!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

The man swung at her with his sword, and she ducked down and behind him. He turned and swung, she jumped again. Her heart was pounding. Never before had she fought a man. Orcs and goblins and other unsavoury creatures, sure. Not a man.

He swung, she ducked or jumped. He chopped, she sidestepped. The pattern went round a couple times, Brynn getting closer. Then she acted. She kicked his knee backwards, making him buckle in pain. She then grabbed his sword wrist with both hands and twisted until he dropped his weapon. But that wasn't good enough. He grabbed her round and started squeezing her. She could feel him trying to pull something out - she assumed a dagger - as she was struggling. It seemed the only thing keeping him from pulling it out was her movement, so she just squirmed harder. She wanted to just wait until Fili and Kili got to her, but she knew deep down that they would not get there in time. She had to save herself.

In the midst of their struggle, Brynn reached into her boot and pulled out a long knife. She spun it to face backwards and, trying not to think, stabbed it into her attacker.

She tried not to think about the slight resistance before the blade sunk into the mans chest with ease. She tried not to think about the yell of pain and the gurgle that followed. She tried not to think about how his body went lifeless midair, releasing her to fall away from him.

Brynn scrambled away from the body and then stared at it in horror. She heard the cracks of branches behind her, and soon her brothers were kneeling beside her.

"Brynn... Are you okay?" Fili asked, scared at the unfocused look in her eyes.

"I killed him..." Brynn said quietly.

"We know." Kili said.

"I had to!"

"Brynn, it's alright. We couldn't get to you, it was self defence."

Brynn nodded, trying to get comfortable with the the idea that she had just killed a man. It wasn't working.

"Come on, let's get you home." Fili said, lifting Brynn to her feet.

Oooooooooooooooooooooo

The entire situation had been cleared up. Thorin recognized the dead marauder as a man that had tried to cheat him out of payment earlier that week and probably had wanted revenge. Brynn had acted in self defence, so she was safe from being arrested.

But she was far from safe from her mind. It wasn't guilt, per se, but a sick fascination - and a disgust at herself for that feeling. In one second she had stolen that mans life. One second and he was gone forever.

She felt terrible, and when Fili and Kili kept their distance from her, she felt like a monster. They were ashamed of her for killing the man, she just knew it. They thought she should have injured him. And she thought that too. She had jumped to killing him - never once did she think of injuring him. Brynn constantly went over the moment, trying to figure out if she could have done differently. She over thought it to the point she got headaches, and stayed in her room in the dark until they went away. While once Fili and Kili would have gotten her cool cloths for her forehead and soup, now they walked by her closed door - she could tell their footsteps.

Days went by before Thorin acted. Never had he wanted his niece to have to kill an intelligent being, no matter how evil they were. And especially not so young. She was bound to be affected by it. Everyone was. The first time was always the hardest. But when Brynn started getting worse and days went by with no improvement he knew he had to do something.

He went into Brynns room where she was lying with her eyes squeezed shut. Her fists were clenched and her brow was furrowed.

"Hello, love. Headache again?" Thorin asked, standing a couple feet from the bed.

Brynn relaxed at her uncles voice. "No, just thinking."

"About?"

Silence.

"Brynn? I need you to talk to me. This isn't healthy."

Brynn opened her eyes. "Uncle, I killed someone."

"I know. Brynn, I know this doesn't make it better, but you could not have done any differently. He was going to kill you, was he not? Your life or his; there is no question."

"I could have injured him!" Brynns eyes welled with tears, and she sat up as Thorin sat down on the bed.

"Could you? You've thought about it. I know because I did the same thing my first time. You've thought it through so in-depth that you've gotten headaches. So tell me. Could you have done differently?"

Brynn frowned, looking at her open hands. "No, I don't think so. But what if that's just my mind trying to comfort me?"

"It's not. You have a clear vision of what happened. It won't fade for a few days. It will be vivid. But you have to push through. You did the right thing."

Brynn swallowed hard, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Fili and Kili are ashamed of me."

Thorin stiffened. "Not in a thousand years could they be ashamed of you. There is nothing you could do to make them love you less. What gave you that idea?"

"They won't come near me. Not since we got the matter cleared up with the authorities. I stole someone's life, they have a reason to be uncomfortable."

"They are uncomfortable, but I suspect for a very very different reason."

"What would that be?"

"Let's ask them, shall we?"

Brynn nodded, curious at what her uncle meant. He was the smartest man she knew, so if anyone could solve this, it would be him.

"Fili! Kili! Get in here!" Thorin yelled out the open door.

Fili and Kili came slowly, standing just inside the room awkwardly.

"Boys? Do you want to tell your sister why you haven't been near her?"

Kili shuffled his feet. "We just feel so guilty, Bree."

Fili nodded. "We should've gotten to you faster that day. We were too slow."

"And you're just hurting so bad, and it's all our fault."

"We hate seeing you this way."

Brynn laughed, wiping at her watery eyes to clear them up. "You two are half my problem."

Fili and Kili blushed with embarrassment. They came over closer and hugged her in turn.

"We're sorry, Bree." Fili said. "I guess we should've just talked to you."

"It's okay. I'm feeling a bit better now."

"Good. Do you want to come eat? Mamas made lunch."

"I'd like that."

Brynn still struggled in the next couple of days, but knowing that her brothers really weren't ashamed of her for protecting herself helped. She came back to normal with the support of her family.

 **Well. That's it. It's not my favourite story I've ever written but I like it! I'm not sure if I wrote the reaction Brynn had to killing someone, because, obviously, I have never experienced that. But I hope it was at least semi realistic!**

 **Please review! :)**

 **If you have any ideas for a one shot, let me know and I might write it! :)**


End file.
